Robert’s Commentary: No idea ever that you were so deep, Lorie. Very aware child.
Thank you Robert. Yes I do think in terms of poetry and there’s a long story behind my awareness to try and write poetry. If you have some time I’ll share. It was over two and half years ago that I even dared to look at Twitter. A family member was already trying to convince me to sign in on Facebook. The whole concept really didn’t appeal to me. Because what I had done for a living in various companies in Los Angeles and San Francisco I was already tired of facing only a screen 24/7. Mind you I did enjoy the aspect of my jobs being challenged to fine tune with performance optimization skills and all that that encompassed being a Database Consultant. I worked in Century City I loved that place. I worked downtown in Los Angeles where we had a fail over system in place. People on Facebook were sharing their great stories and tidbits of their lives. It just didn’t appeal to me.
Then I got a new phone and I said well why not create an account on Twitter and send out a tweet. I found a group of woman who were keeping up with the reality TV show Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and all the other housewives from other cities in New York, Atlanta, etc. on Bravo TV. So I dived right in and gave my opinion. Then I suddenly had 18 followers, that seemed to come instantaneously. So I was hooked. I chose the name @renaissanceangl the account is still there. Have a look at it for yourself. I haven’t figured out how to bring all my followers there at @renaissanceangl to @natswritings. I searched through the Twitter timeline and there was poetry written and shared by many poets. I never considered myself much of a poet since I was trained to be scientific and technical coming from a place where I worked for a National Laboratory at the Proton Storage Facility. Oh this was as technical and scientific as it would prove to me. There were Lexidata touch panel graphic screens with operators keeping the facility running 24/7. I was hired as a programmer to write the Fortran code in a process and equipment module to manipulate a piece of hardware that was monitoring the proton beam generated about half a mile through a six inch diameter pipeline. Then from there I went on to large database systems and made a career and living out of that. So my degree proved to be the one thing that would propel me into a career and future that I assumed would totally fulfill me. But we’re much more complicated than that. Well at least I am and I willingly admit that I am.
Coming back to the poetry as @renaissanceangl I did a lot of soul searching on social media. I started to write stories for every picture that inspired me. Then I attempted to write poetry, it proved to be much deeper than I hadn’t really had the pleasure of experiencing in those terms, which is the only way to write poetry; all the good including the bad inspires us. So this is the part that appealed to me. I started with a good fresh mind and put words together. I started investing a great deal of my time in learning new words, expanding my vocabulary. Then I practiced and practiced and I wasn’t afraid to share. Then you start to captivate other minds, poets, poetesses and I felt that who I was as @renaissanceangl wasn’t really part of the community of poets. Oh and there is one, sort of an underground society where there are rules and I being me didn’t know or understand that a hashtag I used was really reserved for the person who had all the rights to the hashtag and I assumed well it’s a free world why can’t I use it. I hope you’re at least amused by all this at this time Robert. A fieryverse is just that; a hint. I soon came to the conclusion that who I was or created as @renaissanceangl had reached a plateau. I wasn’t finding the fulfillment as that character that I created. So one day I de-activated my account with 4,000 followers. I needed time to think. I was deeply involved with this new purpose to redefine myself not only as a poet but even more challenging as a writer. I had a few friends and I didn’t tell anyone that I was going away; temporarily. But one of the followers figured it out soon enough and he knows who he is. I decided to reinvent myself. A little play acting in social media. I loved acting and I still do. Every once in a while I go back to script to a new character; very different than I am with a new accent.
I came back as @natswritings the name has a particular deep meaning to me. Aubrey Natalie Keshing. This was my chance to start all over and I soon found out that there were many poets, poetesses that each week gave you an inspiring word, words, or phrase and each had a particular hashtag associated with them. That’s when I really started to write. But I had already written my life story in my first manuscript. While I was still @renaissanceangl I was encouraged to the Nth degree by someone who kept reading and giving me the confidence to continue and he knows who he is. Of course I had all the aspirations that my story being as colorful as it was, was going to be a big hit and who knows where this could lead. But the manuscript wasn’t good enough (not to me it wasn’t) as painful as it was to write about your past. You’re in the present until all the past comes rushing forward. Now as @natswritings I took it even further. I decided to write the Poem of Verses and I thought that that was my original idea until much later I found that a poet from the 19th Century had thought of the same concept and he called it the Poem of Verses. I was flattered and disappointed at the same time. Are you still with me Robert? I hope I’m not boring you.
So wherever I flew to with my mind (which is our greatest asset as human beings) I knew one thing that I wouldn’t stay long. I had gone through some very hard challenges as you know with my health and with a particular situation involving a dance studio. I love to dance. These things that happened were before my social media contribution but they stayed with me, forming the life I live now. So from the poetry, short stories, to Poem of Verses, to a blog site, to a book, to an online magazine titled NatsWritings.com and here I am back with you.
I’ve been going through a particular hard time with the country’s Election 2016. I know many people don’t even want to think about it because we feel helpless. I don’t have that pleasure since I have to dive into it just about everyday because of the category Election 2016 on my magazine site. I committed myself to tune in everyday and report the articles associated with this very daunting election. Then I turned from Editor-in-Chief of the magazine to investigator regarding this whole problematic scenario regarding Hillary Clinton as former Secretary of State and her personal unsecured email scandal. I just had to dig deeper and deeper and what I found which is covered in most of my articles relating the Clinton Foundation/Slush Fund are the crimes that is truly unbelievable and terribly disappointing.
I used to be a Democrat. I gave money to support Bernie Sanders. But before all this I thought Bill and Hillary were wronged when their personal life was being attacked when he was President of the United States. I didn’t think that that was any of our business. Just because the National Enquirer made a big deal of it doesn’t mean we have to follow in the same disreputable footsteps. We are all human beings and some of us are more complicated than others and we have gumption with fearlessness. Other people are just happy to live in a more settled and peaceful lifestyle which is what I have learned, but I still have this passion inside me that drives me to want to become more. Sometimes you have feelings and emotions of grandeur where you want to save parts of this world especially where the children are suffering. I never thought that I would find out about all the crimes the Clintons have committed against the United States Constitution, violation of the Espionage Act 793F, and probably the most damaging charity fraud in the billions and billions of dollars against the Charity Fraud Solicitation Law and on top of that the “Agreement” Hillary made with President Obama. That she would refrain from working on the Clinton Foundation as Secretary of State. Huh! she worked on this constantly 24/7, 1,100 times with foreign donors who paid for the sovereign rights she was privy to and had access and permission to grant these sovereign rights to the rich foreign donors of other countries. Deal making with Oligarchs (warlords with the worst inhumane violations; MURDERING innocent people). Stealing the sovereign rights to these rich mineral deposits, oil, gas, and gold mines in the South Sudan, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Nigeria, etc. Soliciting for money donations up to 12-13 billions dollars raised for the 2010 Haiti devastating earthquake and these people didn’t receive hardly any of that money and help that was promised to them.
As you know Bernie Sanders wanted us to vote for Hillary Clinton when I guess he realized he didn’t stand a chance due to the superDelegate rigged system. Then Wikileaks pointing out all the backstabbing against Bernie Sanders, the Hispanic community and the black American community but I was always hopeful that we could at least get to the convention. However, President Obama made it very obvious with his meeting with Bernie Sanders was not meant to be. So there’s some of the story.
So I rewrote the book and hired an editor and I just called it under the category ‘A Past’. Then I saw the most interesting documentary of a famous woman coming from her infamous life and once again I wanted to assimilate all that’s part of the past with the relevancy of the present and how are lives are really intertwined with all our dreams and of course our challenges. I can’t predict the future. The only advice I can offer regarding anyone’s future is to educate themselves, learn, read everyday and soon you’ll find that all this will fit with your new found purpose.
Thank you Robert for being such a great friend and writer. If I could write like you I would have written several novels. Hemingway watch out.
Natalie, A very thorough outpouring of your historical background, Not is the least surprised by such high quality from you, it only looks better each time. That’s a quite rich background. I recall bits & pieces from earlier chats; however, not this thorough.
I’m witnessing your creativity come forth just as a flower unfolds. The best is ongoing.
Robert F. Carlson
I once wrote that writing the next paragraph or the next article or the next chapter will come effortlessly without pushing forcing your mind to be creative and I will never forget what Ernest Hemingway said, “Write hard and clear about what hurts.” and certainly about what lives passionately inside you. ~ Natalie