Invidious
She was
Signs, Signals
Barricaded
In her
Darkest days
And my darkest hours
Oh how it challenged me daily.
To remain outside
Of f of her bitter radar.
My internal compass
I calibrated to perfection.
I thought maybe
Her loath
Would eventually improve.
It came at the
Very end and again;
I was wrong.
For she proved herself
To be right and righteous.
I bereaved in
The corners
Of my mind…silently.
She and I
Could never be judged
As insipid;
And that was a blessing.
We were
Both vivacious as
Mother and Daughter.
But she was
My mother
After all
I learned to sew.
Act with dignity.
Act as an actress.
See the movies
Through her eyes
And Laugh and laugh.
And I know
In the deepest
Part of me
I have to go back
And I did go back
The Funeral
Of the man she loved
She needs me.
As she always has.
I understood her
Like no other
Because she was
My mother
After all
I became everything
She wanted to be
And only
Half As much
As I wanted to be
That dream
Still lives in me
And every now and then
I get to perform for an audience
In my own special corner
~Natalie
