“At Fast Bunnies we always make our Valentine’s flower deliveries on time. If not, we throw in another dozen red roses for free!”
☎️ Fast Bunnies! May we help you?
?Yes, I wanted to order a dozen red roses for my valentine.
☎️ Oh, Just a dozen?
? Why do you ask?
☎️ Well nobody ever orders one dozen anymore. They usually order two dozen. After all, I’m sure she’s worth it or him and she/he deserves it.
?OK then I’ll order another dozen.
☎️ Is this for your wife?
☎️ OK What’s her name?
☎️ You know we have a special for Valentine’s Day. You could order another dozen, say for mother and we throw in another dozen for half the price.
?Well how much does the first two dozen cost?
☎️ Let’s see with tax your looking at $59.99 it’s really one of our best arrangements. You know with the Baby’s breath, extra foliage and bright ribbons. Not to mention our flowers last longer than anyone else’s in town.
? So for the second order how much would that cost?
☎️ Let’s see. Is this your first time you order from Fast Bunnies? Which I assume it is. I have no reason to doubt you. We take off another $2.00 dollars off for first time customers.
?Yes it is.
☎️ Let’s see. That would be $35.50 added to your first purchase of $59.99, plus tax. You’re looking at $99.99. That’s a good number, less than a $100 dollar bill.
?OK, That’s fine here’s my credit card number and the addresses.
☎️ You know we’re offering another special for second time buyers. All you have to do is hang up and call us right back and we throw in the second dozen for free, if you have another loved one, say like a mistress.
?OK, I don’t want to hang up and call right back or order another dozen roses. And no! I don’t have a mistress. I have one wife, who I’ve been happily married to for 29 years.
☎️ No problem. Let me get the addresses for both orders and what would you like to say in each card.
?First card. “My Darling Helen, I want to thank you for last night. Our love and passion is endless.” The second card. “Mom, you’re the best.”
☎️ OK we’re done with your order and thank you for choosing Fast Bunnies Delivery. Have a nice day sir.
☎️ Rob. this is your mother.
☎️ Two dozen red roses were delivered to my house by Fast Bunnies Delivery. The card said, “Darling Helen, I want to thank you for last night. Our passion is endless.”
?I knew that guy would get it wrong! Mom I ordered you another two dozen red roses and the cards got switched.
☎️ Well son, thank you so much and I might add, there’s nothing wrong in having a good sex life. Your father and I were like fast bunnies up until he past away at 92. Hahaha
?Mom TMI, Ok. But I’m glad you got the roses.
☎️ Alright dear.
?Rob it’s me, I got the roses and they’re beautiful, but all you wrote was “You’re the best” and after last night, well I would have thought you’d have more to say other than “You’re the best.”
?This is a long story Helen. I ordered 2 dozen red roses for you and my mother, the deliveries got mixed up. Yours was supposed to say, “My Darling Helen, I want to thank you for last night. Our love and passion is endless.”
?Oh that’s funny I’m sure your mother wasn’t stunned and I bet she laughed! Didn’t she?
☎️ Yes she did dear. I have an important meeting coming up. We’ll talk more when I get home. I’m glad you liked the roses.
?And I enjoyed last night. Alright I’ll be waiting for you. It’s a surprise!
Former Deputy Attorney General Rosenstei...
Former Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein’s Damage Control, Self Preservation, & Face Saving When it came to the Trump/Russian collusion hoax, it turned out to be a bigger hoax than mainstream media wanted you to believe. There was no alleged criminal violation when Rosenstein appointed Mueller to investigate the Russian hoax. The whole Special Counsel should [...]
De Blasio’s 2020 presidential candi...
De Blasio’s 2020 presidential candidacy is a complete farce New York’s own Mayor Bill de Blasio will make it official Thursday, announcing his candidacy for president. Of the United States. If you’re not laughing, then you don’t know Bill de Blasio like we know Bill de Blasio. As the hometown paper and preferred foil, [...]
Iranian Missiles On Small Boats Spotted I...
Iranian Missiles On Small Boats Spotted In Persian Gulf: U.S. Official AFP – A U.S. official said Thursday that Iranian missiles loaded on small boats in the Persian Gulf were among the “threats” that have triggered a beefed-up military deployment in the region. “The missiles on civilian boats are a concern,” said the official, [...]
The GOP Base Is Done Tolerating RINO Coll...
Written by Kurt Schlichter | May 16, 2019 12:01 AM The stupid Beltway GOP Establishment, but I repeat myself, is finally standing firm on something – unfortunately, what it is standing firm on is its failure to listen to its own base. The base is woke and the Establishment’s a joke. I speak to a [...]