The Face of Hillary Clinton ~ A Personal Story
The problem is this; I am tired of making excuses for people who are not reading enough about our country and the political figures who were running for President in this past election. Most opinions were shaped by mainstream media who refused to talk about Hillary Clinton’s violations and law breaking. Her conduct against rules, laws and regulations.
There are hundreds of articles written by reputable journalists and reporters who were documenting and reporting Hillary Clinton’s pattern of maleficence. Her performance as a public official involved a pattern of premeditated behavior and actions that were morally wrong. That were legally unjustified, harmful and contrary to the rules, laws and regulations of the United States. All her actions were in violation of the public trust. Why did Hillary Clinton not win for Commander-in-Chief? Because 66% to 80% of the American population didn’t trust her regarding her email scandal and the Clinton Foundation/Slush fund. A Slush Fund is a sum of money used for illicit or corrupt political purposes; selling your influence for money.
I ask her supporters, did the fact that she was involved in corrupted pay-for-play schemes ever cross your mind to be morally reprehensible? Did her pattern of behavior question your ethics? Did it? Honestly, ask yourself this question.
The title of an article in the Washington Post is “Hillary’s No-Makeup Face As Rorschach Test.” A Rorschach test reveals the underlying personality structure of an individual by the use of a standard series of 10 inkblot designs to which the subject responds by telling what image or emotion each design evokes.
The Washington Post said, “We shouldn’t be talking about Hillary’s face. The act of mentioning her hair (yet again) is like adding insult to injury after all she’s been through. But we’ve been studying that face for so long, and this shift is so significant — like when she ditched her glasses and cut her hair and took her husband’s name back in the early ’80s. Now, with her bare-faced post-election look, Hillary Clinton is once again a perfect societal inkblot.”
Every woman whether young or old looks very different without make-up. We look pale, maybe tired; a clean white canvas. If we choose to apply lipstick and a little rouge that changes our appearance immediately. The Washington Post is trying once again to play the Devil’s Advocate, “We shouldn’t talk about Hillary’s face. The act of mentioning her hair yet again is like adding insult to injury after all she’s been through.”
Let me share my story with you of the past 16 years and what I’ve been through. Buckle your seat belts because it’s going to get pretty horrific. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2002. But it took a year and half to find the right doctor to diagnose my illness, for the majority of 2001 I was extremely tired and in a lot of pain. Then I went through an Anterior Cervical Discectomy in 2004. They removed crushed discs C4 and C5 and a bone spur that extended the surgery by two hours for a total of five hours. Six months later, I was diagnosed with H-Pylori; 60% of the population has this bacteria in their stomachs. Some are asymptomatic and for others it becomes a big problem.
Then in October 2006, I became very ill questioning was this another H-Pylori flare-up. No, I was cured. All the tests showed no H-Pylori. Most of the doctors I was seeing were extremely concerned because I was dropping weight everyday and in a lot of pain on my right side. I am 5’5″ and I weighed 130 lbs and dropped down to 107 very quickly. I saw many doctors at Cedars Sinai, UCLA and the Century City Medical Center. I met with many Gastroenterologists and Internal Medicine doctors.
I went through the most horrifying physical tests. One of the tests, I found out later, was not an accurate test and they discontinued the use of that test at the Mayo Clinic. The test involved measuring the ejection fraction of your gallbladder that stores your bile. Let me repeat; the test was found to be bogus, inaccurate but Cedars Sinai was still performing the test. Somewhere, in the meantime I was going to my regular internal medicine doctor and she would give me shots of a steroid to numb the pain on my right side. That was extremely painful.
That test indicated that my gallbladder showed an ejection fraction of zero (0). This indicated that my gallbladder wasn’t working. Then I was referred to a liver surgery specialist and a biliary specialist. The Hepatologist (liver surgeon) said that he couldn’t say for sure that was my problem of extreme pain on my right side and loss of weight. In other words, I was gambling to have my gallbladder removed. He couldn’t assure me this would solve my problems. The Biliary Specialist was nationally and famously known for performing a test called an ERCP. A very invasive and dangerous test. Almost all of the testimonials I researched on the internet, said that the ERCP did not solve these problems with pain. I found an actual surgical video of an ERCP being performed and I immediately used my instincts to say no to that procedure. Most people were landing up in the hospital with pancreatitis and some died. So out of my desperation, I made the decision to have my gallbladder removed. The pathologist indicated that my gallbladder was pink and looked perfectly healthy. One test called an MRI/MRCP showed that I had lesions on my liver. But none of the doctors could explain why they were there. I didn’t have hepatitis or any other liver disease. I didn’t drink and I ate a very healthy diet. Before I got sick, I used to run regularly, do Pilates and weights for toning.
From there I thought I was literally dying and so did some of these doctors. Some thought it was some form of cancer. I moved from Los Angeles back to my home city and state in June, 2007. I couldn’t walk up stairs when I was looking for a place to rent. I was thinking that I was going to die and I didn’t want to be buried in Los Angeles. It wasn’t until April, 2008 at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, AZ that I got an answer and not my first visit, but my second, after insisting that they redo the MRI/MRCP test that had already been performed at Cedars Sinai. I had all my medical records transferred to the Mayo Clinic. Finally the doctor called and said the radiologist, who was very experienced, had the knowledge to diagnose my illness. I had Carolis which was congenital; I was born with this. I had cysts in my intra-hepatic (liver) ducts and that could result in two things. 1) I could develop a Cholangitis infection, bacteria would grow due to the bile remaining stagnant in my intra-hepatic and bile duct. The Cholangitis infection would lead to a Sepsis infection and I probably would not survive that; 2) I could develop cholangiocarcinoma, cancer of the bile duct spreading to the liver or pancreas or both. There were no surgeries that could be performed due to the risk of killing you.
You can imagine how insane this whole experience felt. I returned home with a grim prognosis. I was Catholic. I lost all my faith; completely. It wasn’t until the third visit to the Mayo Clinic, out of my sheer desperation, that I was willing to have an ERCP performed. When I went back to the Mayo Clinic to meet with their biliary specialist and surgeon, he would not perform an ERCP because I had nothing to gain. They did however have me see a pain specialist. By this time, I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I was prescribed Tramadol because I landed up in the hospital twice when I still lived in Los Angeles after taking Vicodyn and Oxycotin. I was very allergic to these pain medications.
I came home and I really didn’t know what to do except take the pain medication in addition to the Ativan to get me through this nightmare. I went to Borders one night very disheveled and in poor condition to look for words, for a book to help me with my present state of mind. I found a book called Miraculous Health by Dr. Rick Levy. I bought the book and I took it a step further. I contacted Dr. Rick Levy and explained the whole ordeal. I asked him to work with me to learn hypnosis meditation. We worked together for six months and I started to improve. My pain was less. My mind and thoughts were becoming stronger. I was eating more and gaining the weight I had lost. I started running on the treadmill and feeling more like myself for the first time in the last 8 years. It was December 2008. Then I bought a new house and I felt that I was living more of a normal life everyday.
I went to a movie at the end of April, 2009 and there I experienced the most horrific pain on my right breast. I had already had a Fibroadenoma removed in 1998 from my left breast. When I came home after the movie, I removed my top and bra and felt my right breast and there was a lump the size of a quarter. I immediately made an appointment to see an oncologist. They immediately performed a mammogram and an ultrasound. During the ultrasound I looked up at the screen and I said “There it is.” The ultrasound specialist said, “I’m going to talk to the radiologist oncologist.” I knew then and I asked her to inform my husband in the waiting room for him to be present. The oncologist came in and before he said anything, I said, “Well you don’t have to beat around the bush, it’s cancer isn’t it?” He said, “I’m pretty sure it is.” They scheduled a biopsy. I meditated heavily and they immediately called me to have the biopsy performed the next day. Little did I know the kind of breast cancer the radiologist oncologist was thinking I had; a particular kind of breast cancer called triple negative. There was no time to think everything was evolving fast. I met with an oncologist and a couple of surgeons in Santa Fe and Albuquerque. Everyone was advising that I go to the MD Anderson Clinic in Houston to be treated. My husband had started to make arrangements and he looked at the information MD Anderson Clinic posted regarding my particular breast cancer. They were recommending the exact same chemo drugs that we had already discussed with the oncologist in Santa Fe. That morning on Friday, I said to my husband cancel the plans with MD Anderson and I made my first appointment to receive chemo on Monday.
I did chemo for six months, 33 radiation treatments and had the tumor removed at the end of the chemo treatments. During the chemo I did have to have a blood transfusion. They were worried about the Carolis being part of this treatment and on the last month of Chemo, the specific chemo drugs that they had changed me to stopped shrinking the tumor. The tumor grew back and even larger. When I was laying down you could see the tumor protruding under my skin. On the day I was to see my regular oncologist, she was not available and so I saw a different oncologist. He took a measuring stick and measured the size of the tumor. Then he said we are going to change your chemo and I am going to give you the strongest chemo drugs to stop that tumor from growing. He clearly wasn’t concerned with the Carolis but more with the breast tumor.
The new chemo drugs started working immediately. They shrunk that tumor down to practically nothing but I still had to go through the surgery to have all the tissue where the tumor was located removed. They took a larger margin to make sure they extracted all the cancerous circumference. A couple of days before the surgery, I met with the breast surgeon and she asked, “Can I remove the breast?” I said no. If the sentinel node doesn’t have a trace of cancer I don’t want you removing my breast. After all, the treatment was called breast conservatory treatment. I did take the BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 tests Angelina Jolie had taken and I was negative for both. But I had triple negative breast cancer which was very invasive and grew fast. Usually they have patients wait several weeks after the chemo before the surgery, in my case they didn’t want to wait except for one week.
After the cancer treatments it took me a while to bounce back. I started walking then running. I joined a Zumba class and that helped me physically and mentally, at least for a while. During this time a lot of things were going on with my personal life.
On April 20, 2015, I woke up one morning feeling very ill. For four days I had the chills and my fever kept going up. I thought I had the flu. By Thursday, I cancelled my doctor’s appointment. I knew I was in serious trouble and I called an ambulance. On an IV, I was shaking uncontrollably, they started treating me immediately with antibiotics, very strong antibiotics in large dosages.
I remember the very petite soft spoken lady doctor who said to me, “Natalie, we are going to admit you to the hospital.” I was diagnosed with a Sepsis Infection, which is almost lethal. From a bladder infection that turned into an infection that spread to my blood and it wasn’t due to Carolis. The actress Patty Duke died this year in 2016 due to a Sepsis Infection.
I stayed in the hospital for six days and I recovered pretty quickly. I think all nurses and doctors were pretty stunned. After the Sepsis Infection I didn’t feel well. I was diagnosed pre-diabetic. So I had to change my diet to include more protein. I didn’t drink cokes and I really didn’t care for sweets. But it has challenged me immensely because my blood sugar can go too low very quickly. One time it was 42, another time 60.
All this medical information and horrific experiences brings me to the present. I am still strong willed, healthy enough and I remain positive everyday of my life. I enjoy writing immensely and I look forward to doing more traveling throughout my life. I still exercise and eat a very healthy diet. I’m not one to quit. I have developed a pretty insightful and classy website, where many people across the world have come to enjoy and read all my writing at Natswritings.com. And I remind myself daily, “The best shouldn’t be only part of your past, look to the future with all your dreams and aspirations.”
I compared my life for the past 16 years to Hillary’s life. As Secretary of State and before; she traveled the world and took advantage of the sovereign rights she was privy to; here in the United States and globally. Dealing making with oligarchs and rich billionaires who donated to the Clinton Foundation. Everyone involved from the Clintons, the oligarchs and the rich billionaires stole the rich mineral deposits from several African countries.
During Hillary’s campaigning she spent most of her time raising money with rich Elites and celebrities who contributed to her campaign. I believe it was $1.4 billion dollars to run for President. She is a very wealthy person. She has hired help to perform everything and anything having to do with her personal and professional life. When was the last time she cleaned a toilet or went without medication like the millions of people who don’t have the money to buy and take their medications daily without insurance. Those people who still continue to live without health insurance now due to the failing Obamacare. No doctor, nurse or a hospital to go to without health insurance.
The Washington Post continues to describe Hillary Clinton’s Presidential loss with over exaggerated sympathy. Many have run for President before her and lost. People who met the Clintons during the Thanksgiving holiday took pictures with Hillary smiling and happy. I sincerely don’t understand why people would continue to support her with the countless Wikileaks, Judicial Watch and the House Oversight Committee continuing to investigate the email scandal and especially the Clinton Foundation. She accepted $25,000,000 dollars in one donation from Saudi Arabia. For what reason on God’s green earth did she promise to accept that kind of money against the Constitution, Title 18 Espionage Act 793F and the Charity Fraud Solicitation Law.
I’m not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me. I continue to be strong and live my life with more peace and continue to be positive. I think that’s pretty obvious on Natswritings.com starting with a story, “A Work in Progress The Baroness Out of Africa~Updated Daily” http://nataliekeshing.com/before-out-of-africa/ via @natswritings To write like this you have to be pretty happy on most days. I’m not saying I don’t have my challenges. But I’m out to change and affect the world. I want to inspire and build people’s confidence. To say simply, if you had a difficult time growing up that doesn’t have to define who you are. I guess I was lucky, I always had an enormous amount of confidence. Thank you for reading my story. I wish you the best.
Here’s the rest of that article by the Washington Post:
“Do you see Hillary’s bare face as a grim admission that she’s been striving too hard on the trail, or do you see her choice to forsake hairspray as a cathartic ????-you to the whole damn operation of being a woman in the public eye? Are her puffy under-eyes an exhibition of grief or, as one callous article suggested, a ploy to stoke our sympathies? Did she send her hair-and-makeup team home or just decide (like a few other celebrities) that she was done living a lie? Maybe she was worried about crying. I know I’ve been avoiding eye makeup since the election for that reason.”
“It’s impossible to know what Hillary has been thinking these last few times she’s stepped out the door seemingly with little primping, but how you interpret her no-makeup face likely says more about you than her. Where her supporters see liberation and resolve, her critics see depression and defeat. Some female voters are simply saddened to see Hillary like this.” “She’s mourning,” says Joan, a 56-year-old painter from Brooklyn. “But she needs to get it back together soon because it’s not good to let this go on for too long.” “You can’t look at that face and not feel deeply moved by all of this. Whether you like her or you hate her. There’s beaten, and then there’s no-makeup beaten,” says Sharron, a woman of 68. “She’d been looking so terrific. It’s hard to see her just stop.”
Reflection On Post Election